


The Weirdos Waltz

by Theodore_Writes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dark Luna Lovegood, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Headcanon, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Luna Lovegood & Draco Malfoy Friendship, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-Canonical Character Death, POV Luna Lovegood, Period-Typical Homophobia, Suicide, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:31:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theodore_Writes/pseuds/Theodore_Writes
Summary: This fic is abandoned and cringey. I'm just keeping it up here to remind me that at one point I really was in love with Harry Potter and that it wasn't a fever dream.Luna Lovegood doesn't exist.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. .

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is abandoned and when I look back at it all I see is venting and myself projecting onto characters. I'm not orphaning this fic but that doesn't mean I even plan to update it.

Loony.

that is not her name.

but that is what they call her.

she is pale.

her hair is wild, the colour of pistachio shells.

her lashes are black.

so are her eyes.

she is alone in her tower.

surrounded.

and.

alone.

she cries

(it's been four years since _she_ left)

(four **years**)

she is in pain

(it was no death.)

(_she_ didn't die.)

(dead people left bodies.)

she is alone

(_she_ left half made mochi.)

* * *

Ravenclaw Tower is cold, as it should be. A castle tower in Scotland without a heating system should be frosty and drafty. It's not an ideal place to live, but it's supposed to be "home" so it has to be good enough. Carpets and rugs layered upon layer on the ground. Ravenclaws aren't smart people, they aren't clever. Ravenclaws seek knowledge because it's fun. Not to use it, or to keep it, just to have it. Some of her housemates disappear for days at a time. It's not uncommon to get caught up in something when you thirst for it like a dehydrated child in the desert heat. They don't care enough about her idiosyncrasies to be rude. Not personally peeved by her personality so she enjoys them more than the others. Those others being the "Book Worms." That are the "Peak of Ravenclawly behavior", the "Smart Ones", the "Teacher's Pets".

She can blame them. She really can.

She's their entertainment. Their freak show on two legs.

Loopy

Loony

Lunatic

Lovegood.

Insane Mental Creepy Stupid Crybaby Friendless Lovegood.

Lovegood who refused to date Dreamy Roger Davies

What a freak!

She must be a **dyke**.

I heard that's why the Weasley girl hanged herself y'know.

Loopy Loony Lovegood was chasing the Weaslete's skirt and the Weaslete wasn't a dyke so she hanged herself.

How gross!

She did that to her best friend?!

I don't want to be in the same room as her! Ugh!

Really~! It's true~!

I heard Loopy Lovegood was only her friend to get in her panties!

That young?!

What a creep!

I wouldn't want her to sleep in My Dorm!

Oh I feel soooooooooo bad for the younger girls. Dealing with a pervert in their own dorm! No wonder they kick her out at night!

the cackles of the fifth years could be heard throughout the tower

and tsuki knows.

deep in her heart.

that she has lost.


	2. ..

they call her luna.

"ms. lovegood" says headmistress mcgonagall

they call Lovegood, Luna to be segregated into one of four groups of students.

confusion racks her brain, only daddy ever called her Luna Lovegood.

the Weasley's still call her Tsuki but now they call her Tsuki Lovegood instead of Malfoy.

They like her better as a Lovegood than as a Malfoy.

he had told them and they were glad he had stopped associating with his brother.

they didn't know how it hurt her though.

how the pain of hearing two words made her want to collapse.

he changed her to a Lovegood but never before had he tried to change her to a Luna in anyone else's eyes.

A Luna.

she is no Luna.

but now. Now even the kids who are nice her. the Good ones, they call her the wrong name all because of him.

she asks the headmistress

"why"

her voice is shallow and cold and shy and scared all at once

and the headmistress tells her all the lies she has been told as if it were truth, but the headmistress does not know any different, so her emotions seem.

wrong.

but the headmistress still tells her why

she tells her that He sent a letter to the school. (without telling her.)

He says she likes to be called Luna instead of Tsuki. (He is trying to erase her mother.)

that's it's best that she just go by only Lovegoood. (and the rest of her family is to be erased to.)

that she's still sensitive about the name her mother gave her. (that she is weak and it is her fault and not His that _She_ is gone)

about how she has rejected her culture due to her mother's death. (erasing her culture, her ties to everything, everything.)

(except **him**)

she can blame Him. she really can. she gives and she gives and she **gives** and He goes even further past her boundaries.

he goes too far.

Her death changed Him.

He was "traumatized"

the Weasley's couldn't afford to take care of her, (they wouldn't want her either. she's a malfoy and they're weasley's)

she knew that. 

she didn't tell Ginny. if she had told Ginny she would have told Mrs. Weasley and then should would live at the over-crowded burrow and then she would've been a **burden. **to her (only) friend and no one.

no one. wants a **burden.**

Uncle and Auntie and Koko owned the family estate and the manor. they could afford to take care of her. (**he** was too prideful to live with his brother) and she could live with them and play in the fields on the manor grounds and not have to look in the dust bins for food. but Wiltshire was too far away to walk to and her broom too brittle to ride. the floo was disconnected when _she_ died. she had no way to go home even if she wanted to.

but.

she also knew that if she moved to the manor she wouldn't get to see Ginny anymore and that she would have to forget Ottery St. Catchpole.

she couldn't do that. she couldn't take a chance throwing away one life for another. she wasn't a seer. she didn't know which was the right choice.

she was nine for circe's sake!

so she lied. it was all she knew how to do when she got scared.

first it was small things.

"Daddy was just out late tonight. He'll be back soon Mr. Diggory"

(he would come home in a few days. he had to, she didn't know how to cook much.)

"Oh, daddy just had to take some overtime Mrs. Weasley, there's really no need to worry."

(he had been somewhere all week. she ran out of flour and eggs and milk and the fresh fruit.)

"... Oh. so he. heh, [*cough*] he's just missing you in the halls I guess Mr. Weasley, no need to worry, really."

(it had been a month. she didn't have anymore food that wasn't being grown from the greenhouse. the grocer's in town threw away some fruit that wasn't too rotten, she cut away the bad parts and planted them in the hope of some plants she could eat.)

that he was just working in the attic again. or he was just out shopping. or that he would be back so soon.

and then he didn't come back for 2 years. and so she pretended she had someone checking up on her. that she was mature enough to deal with it. that he loed her and everything would be okay and that he would **love** her if she didn't tell anyone.

he came home the day of her Hogwarts letter.

he smelt of whisky and he had bags under his eyes.

he didn't say anything about how long he was gone for. 

he didn't apologize.

he didn't commend her lying skills

he didn't even try and mention why he was gone.

he just was,

and apparently her name was Luna now

and her mother never existed.

and their family name wasn't malfoy anymore it was lovegood because he didn't want to keep any of their past.

he threw away all of her things.

he threw all of it away.

she sneaked them back in and kept them in a trunk under her bed

he gave up his job at the prophet.

he started the quibbler.

he got drunk every night.

he tried to obliviate her

she didn't love him anymore

she didn't want this kind of life

so she gave up on appeasing to him.

she drew comfort in being alone because it meant **he** wasn't there to lie to her.

but she still tolerated him because he wouldn't dare make anyone call her Luna

but now

she doesn't care anymore. everyone's just like him

she hears it everyday now,

hogwarts is no refuge from him

so she gives up.

she doesn't try and be the lovegood girl.

She's tsuki, and she's an ikeda, and she's a malfoy, but she will never, ever be Luna Lovegood.

she's never been luna lovegood.

and she never will.

her name is Tsuki Malfoy and she will make her daddy regret ever trying to erase her mother from her mind.


	3. ...

Weeks pass like a haze. Everyday she feels more isolated by her roommates. She'd made Ravenclaw for her house, unlike Koko who's in Slytherin and Ginny in Gryffindor.

No one calls him Koko here, it's Draco this Draco that. Blah Blah Blah. Pansy told her off when she went to visit him. That if she wanted to be a Lovegood so bad that she could stay with the blood traitors and never speak with Koko again. (she didn't want this pansy, it was thrust upon her)

Ginny doesn't want to talk to her either.

why would she?

She calls her **_Luna_**.

* * *

she is troubled by her cousin's words. they do not sound like his own. they sound like the words Uncle says, not Koko's.

the speech Parkinson made him sounds rather vile but he goes along with it since he owed her after she buttered Flint up with her _**"words"**_.

(he doesn't sound like himself because it's pansy's words, just with his voice)

he tries to wave him over. he doesn't wave back.

Parkinson begs him to tutor him in Charms for some reason, she's far better at it then he ever has been

(he never saw his cousin, he was too busy with the brunette attached to his arm.)

"Hello Lovegood." She can't believe that he actually believed Xenophilius "Clinically Insane" Malfoy over her! her! his cousin! his partner in crime in all adventures!

"Hello, Lovegood." She hadn't answered any of his letters for two years, why should he try and talk to her when she wouldn't even use the family name any more.

(Xeno set up a mail ward, she couldn't receive any letters from any Malfoy's.)

It's not Koko, her cousin who played with her and preserved the fae rings.

It's not Draco who is a bit cold but still comfortable and friendly and publicly avaiable.

It's not even the Malfoy heir apparent who is a bully and a suck up to Uncle and a fake.

It's a stranger, a shell of Draco. He never says much or even looks at her and it hurts.

Animals die on hogwarts grounds.

the roosters and chickens are all gone for some reason or another.

and then there are the petrifications.

Colin Creevey, Penelope Clearwater, Zacharias Smith.

and then a death.

Hermione Granger

The attacks start and Draco Yells about Mudbloods. Mud. Bloods.

Mudbloods.

Those born from the mudmen/mundane's/non-magicals/muggles, whatever term you call them, those born in a world without magic with the gift of magic.

Draco Yells and Jeers and she feels a disgusting fear and hatred from his words.

and she hurts.

she tries to go some where else. 

Ginny, she thinks.

Ginny would help her.

and this time there is no mochi.

only her last friends body hanging from a rope and a letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if everything seems incohearnt or stuff. I'm sick right now and I can't find my glasses so I'm kind of relying on muscle memory spellings and stuff. also I'm literally just writing this as I go. I want to make it a comic but I need to nail down the plot fisrt to do that so I'm just writing major parts of the story line and howe it differentiates from canon. SOrry if this seems stupid but I am literally writing a first draft and barely able to see the words I type while mildly sdelirious from a stujpid cold.  
thanks  
byyeee.


	4. ....

There's a reason she wasn't sorted into Gryffindor with Ginny.

she's not brave.

and right now.

her body shivers from more than just the drafty wind of moning myrtle's bathroom

the white tile isn't wet with myrtle's tears.

it's wet with hers.

her best friend swings from a cord.

a diary lay at her feet.

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry. please ginny. Please."

she pleads to a corpse.

pathetic.

the words on the paper swim in her eyes. she tries not to wet the note with her tears to no avail.

her first and last friend is dead.

<strike>and it's all her fault</strike>

she should've been there for her.

what did she do wrong

did she push too much?

too little?

is it.

is it.

is it because she wasn't a gryffindor?

I mean Ginny said she couldn't wait to see her everyday.

to have sleepovers everynight

to eat together

to have classes together

it's all her fault

she abandoned her

* * *

the next morning loony lovegood is found laying on the tile by the corpse of Ginny Weasley. The tile is wet with vomit and the salty water of tears.

the letter is clenched in her fingers and she screams in her sleep.

no one wants to acknowledge Loony Lovegood anymore.

the weasleys aren't friendly anymore

she had only ever been liked by ginny.

who would want the freaky malfoy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whadya mean I should know what I'm doing?
> 
> lmao I have no Idea where I'm trying to take this story, it's still in first draft mode so there will probably be major revisions in the future. I found my glasses but I'm still quite sick so my writing is still going to be sub-par.


End file.
